Some old poems I found from several years ago.....it makes me laugh to remember on what occasions I wrote them out, quickly in class over an infatuation, or in the computer lab when I was thirsting for Jesus:
To have Your feet before my eyes
And see those wounds which once were whole
Makes me die for You inside and all I can do is kiss You full
and gently with sighs from my lips.
This burning longing within me gives
Such pangs as hunger does.
And even as my love for You is satisfied
I long for more, and more You give me.
My senses are not my own and yet are heightened,
I am dizzy and lovesick for You.
My heart beats fast and stops at turns and yet is not my own
For I have held it out to You,
An imperfect offering of my life's incense
Which You have taken and kept and healed
And given back to me and yet it is still Yours.
"I have fought against my better judgment."
“…no young lady can be justified in falling in love before the gentleman’s love is declared, it must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her.” (Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen)
How long has it been since I’ve felt this way?
Gradual confusion has crept in,
For black and white have stained to gray,
And now I’m in up to my chin.
No love have I! – and yet great wars
Are being waged inside my head.
If love is security and peace
Then I am living, and yet dead.
No love is this! Impossible!
For I’m half agony, half hope,
You’ve lured me in unwittingly
Now I ask how I’m to cope?
It isn’t love! I tell myself,
For you madden me with what you do.
Your chivalry seduces me as do
Those eyes which they call blue.
It cannot be love! - and yet, I find
My heart stops now and then at turns.
The thought of you distresses me
And still something within me burns.
How long will it be till I recover?
When head and heart are friends once more?
For without true love I’ll not take a lover
But continue to wait with an open door.
Your gaze is too strong for me to receive
And for this I softly grieve.
I thought me a creature of mind, not heart,
Who strongly loved and ne'er was hurt,
I am dazed and confused for now it beats
And trembles....trembles....
This isn't love! (I do not think)
For I am a creature of mind, not heart.
And yet my heart within me beats...
He has seduced me and now I begin to see myself as He sees me
I am more and more myself with Him
Than when others saw me at my best.
With Him my radiance is ease, my ponderings soft, my passions fierce.
Before I feared the eyes of others, afraid of them seeing the real me.
And now I forget to watch myself!
For the love of Christ bubbles out in joy to each and every one.
